"Lighten up, Francis".
One of my favorite quotes follows …
(I’m not sure who the original author is or else I’d attribute it to him or her; if anyone knows, lemme know):
You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. Its one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.
I have always had assholes in my life
- Some posing as friends, who talk shit about me behind my back to anyone who would listen, especially if they stand to benefit somehow by doing it, or out of jealousy.
- Sometimes bitter family members, who just seem to get-off on fucking with me.
- Sometimes girlfriends who love to act like everything is OK (which generally speaking, it was) whenever we’re together but then badmouth me to her friends and family constantly, making things very uncomfortable for me whenever I try to be around them or deal with them, and ultimately helping to ruin the relationship itself due to their pressure on her to leave, thinking I was some real shithead.
- Some who think they can push me and press my buttons further than they’ve earned the “right” to.
- Some who don’t even know me personally, but still act like a bitch or an asshole toward me due to an impression of me they’ve heard from others, of they feel it’s the “popular” thing to do.
- Some who do the above, but only because they’re friends of someone who talks shit about me (friends of an ex-gf for example).
- “Side-takers” – people who you got along great or just fine with before, but due to some incident, they’re now choosing the other “side” and being an asshole/bitch (again an example could be friends of on ex, or people on the other side of an argument about something; opposing views on religion, gun control, etc.)
- … and any myriad of other reasons.
I’ve (long ago) come to the realization that these people are now dead to me. They no longer exist in “my world”, or at least as much as possible. Sometimes you get stuck still having to deal with them unfortunately, in which case I give them as little of me as possible. I won’t talk to them at all in their presence, or as little as necessary, and when I do it’s not my real personality, more of a “yes, my body is here, but that’s it” personality.
The curious part is how they seem completely unaware as to why they’re cut-off. For example, I unfriend them on Facebook, but they’ll keep re-sending friend requests, with messages saying “what’s up?” as if nothing’s wrong and we’re “bro’s” … no “bro” … we’re not friends … chances are I already gave you multiple opportunities to clean up your act, whether I literally told you or just noted it to myself, and you kept your shit up; whether you are aware of it or not, sooner or later I always find out, always. I don’t feel the least bit of guilt about removing you from my life anymore.
I’m a very easy-going person, as long as you’re cool to me, I’m cool to you, but if you act like a fucking asshole to me (or behind my back somehow), I have a zero tolerance these days, and you will be dead to me in the blink of an eye, and once you’ve made that list, it’s permanent. It doesn’t matter what our relationship is, I’ve done it to my own blood, I’ve done it to childhood friends, I’ll do it to you too if you think you can fuck with me and I’ll just put up with it. and if I do, don’t act so surprised, maybe you should search your memory banks for how you must’ve somehow been a fucking asshole. I’m under no obligation to keep you in my life.
Reminds me of another quote that is highly descriptive of me
If I cut you off, chances are you handed me the scissors.